hard times

sometimes i just wish i was back in disneyworld...

february seems to be a hard month for everyone. there's no holidays to be excited for, everything just seems so cold and depressing.
i don't understand why bad things seem to come in waves. ever since we came back from disney, it's just been one after another.

i recently found out that my grandpa harsh has entered the final stages of alzheimers. he can not longer lift his head or feed himself. i've never been to close to my grandma and grandpa harsh, and now i can only think of what i've missed out on. it kills me to think of them in that nursing home... i'm trying not to think about it anymore.
i wish i could actually talk about it. i know that when i say it out loud i'll start crying and not be able to stop.

i wish i could write more, but i feel the tears coming. i think i'm just better off going to sleep...